i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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