i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
