i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
