We won't sleep together?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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