you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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