wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
