i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
