I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
