you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
