She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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