Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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