Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
