My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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