I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
