they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
