She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
