if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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