whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
