this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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