as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
