i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
