every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's blow job season.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
