i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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