Nicole vs. Life
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
