yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize