Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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