i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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