would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm always down for nudity.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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