I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
only you would photoshop your dick
my being single is dangerous.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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