I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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