It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
