I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
