so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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