there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
