best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
