Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
