i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
