David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
