why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She's the barista slut.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
