Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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