No awkward lesbian experiences without me
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
