dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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