Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
