So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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