so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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