idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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