What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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