The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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