Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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