I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
